LANL: The Corporate Story

Good heavens, this isn't any different than what happens in industry, or at other national laboratories, for that matter. And there is no evidence at all whatsoever to support your suspicious about Mitchell's retirement I really think you're all suffering from something called... GroupThink! Ever considered that you're working yourselves into a frenzy over nothing?
 

What if there are zero positives?
 

"Good heavens"

Golly!

"Ever considered that you're working yourselves into a frenzy over nothing?"

No. The management of LANL has been a national disgrace for years. Under LANS, it is quickly becoming intolerable. I strongly suspect that "Good Heavens" doesn't work at LANL, or (s)he wouldn't be asking such stupid questions.
 

"What if there are zero positives?"

Then the LANL cafeteria will start serving poppyseed rolls with lunch.
 

The file names are inspired. IPP!
 

Another Piss Poor management decision.

-Pat, The Dog
 

Man oh Man am I glad I retired, after reading the "Drug Tersting Policy" Im almost sure that they are looking to rid themselves of about severtal hundred, maybe up to 1000 people a year, hey that will certianly help with the severe overhead problem, so go my former co-workers and indulge in the "poppy seed" craze, that I think may be coming.....wow what a place LANL has become....
 

Hey labbies what do you think of your lab now huh? Think that it's going to get better, Like "Good Heavens" said this happens everwhere, you guy's are just catching up....wait..oh yeah there more coming....
 

"What if there are zero positives?"
1/25/2007 10:45 AM

Now that's funny.

I read those docs. Can someone explain how they'll catch prescription drug abuse? Abuse, not short-term or occasional use.
 

Many people think the "poppy seed" bit on drug testing is just Urban Legend. It is not! On page 2 of this LANL Drug Policy document, we find:

-------------------------------------------------
Page 2:

* Many people are aware that the ingestion of poppy seeds may cause a drug test to
indicate the presence of opiates, because poppy seeds contain trace amounts of
morphine and codeine. To distinguish between casual poppy seed ingestion and
abuse of opiates, the cut off level for a positive test is set a sufficient level to
eliminate most initial positives due to poppy seed ingestion. If the screening test
did become positive, a confirmatory test is used that will rule out normal poppy
seed ingestion.

-------------------------------------------------

This begs the question: What other legal substances might trip the thresholds for this test?
Care to play a game of Russian Roulette with your job and future livelihood? Then stay put at LANL and you'll soon be given the chance. I would also advise anyone leaving the LANL grounds for lunch to not consume any beer or cocktails with their lunch. It could cost you your job when you return to work.
 

Susan Seestrom told us in one of her very infrequent e-mails (we don't have All-Hands meetings and I have never seen her walk my space or met her face-to-face since she is a busy person) that she would stand behind anyone who self-reported and that there would be a mechanism for dealing with false positives.

Unfortunately, and according to the wording in the policy, that would be assuming that the person is guilty and placing them immediately on investigatory leave and ruining their reputation and possibly their career since it will be plastered over the papers that you have been tested positive and placed on IL. The LANL Public Affairs office will condemn you by saying something stupid and non-supportive. You will persecuted until you get a lawyer and the Lab people get around to re-testing you.

Eventually they will say "ooops" and can't we all get over this and all be friends again - no really, you are a valued employee. By then it is too late and the damage has been done.

I just wonder if this random testing will be done on a routine basis to ADs and above ... probably not.
 

You people need to read the earlier post by Brad Hollian. He addressed all this some time ago and nobody believed him and he was criticized. The guy hit the nail on the head.
 

What does "Random" really mean? Does that mean they will employ a "random generator" to issue drug test requests, or will your supervisor request a "random" test if maybe he or she doesn't like you? Or maybe everyone will be tested, just at different intervals, who has access to the "random" methods, and who decides to issue the requests?
 

Hoo Wee!

Look at the section entitled "Off-Site Behavior" on page 5! It's a good thing I'm just a dog!

******************************

Certain employee conduct outside of work hours or away from LANL premises may require corrective action, disciplinary action, or other measures when the conduct has a nexus to the workplace, such as:

▪ Bringing discredit to LANL or a LANL sponsoring agency;
▪ Casting significant doubt on the employee's reliability, or trustworthiness in relation to job requirements; or
▪ Casting significant doubt on the employee's ability to reliably comply with LANL safety and security obligations. Such conduct includes criminal acts committed by an employee, such as the unlawful or unauthorized use, possession, transfer, distribution, or sale of controlled substances. Management coordination with HR-ER is required.
▪ Running blogs named LANL, The Corporate Story
 

Pat? Pat? Here Boy! Still working Pat? Here boy! Gotta nice Mitchell chewie for you. Where's that dog whistle at?
 

OK Participants: You now know the rules: Now Let The Games Began...
 

I really feel that anyone who is against drug testing should leave. You will be happier and the workers who have no problem staying clean (even during lunch) will be happier. Leave the lab, don't cause yourself frustration. Get high, enjoy life but don't endanger my life, my workplace or my coworkers because you want to drink beer at lunch or smoke pot on the weekends. Honestly, if you do drugs, I want you to leave, really!
 

2:34pm:

What a typically puritanical American point of view to equate a glass of beer taken at meal time with hard narcotics. You must be a Mormon, or a Baptist, or a member of some other bizarre repressive religious cult.

I don't like you, and I haven't even met you.
 

Ummm, well, if you're a Mormon, sex addiction is OK ... And, of course, if you belong to any of those "repressive religious cults," there's always time for hypocrisy ... and intolerance ... Just don't do it at work, OK?
 

Pot="hard narcotic" WHAT?

Who's the Puritan now??
 

Toke away, dope-boy. Enjoy, while you still can.
 

The Mormon "shun and purge" is indeed underway.
 

Some statistics on the abuse of drugs and their resulting deaths/yr. are in order (approximate, but good enough to get an order-of-magnitude feeling for the problems):
* 400,000 deaths/yr. from tobacco use (mainly lung cancer)
* 150,000 deaths/yr. from alcoholism in its final stages (mainly liver and kidney failure)
* 50,000 deaths/yr. from automobiles (roughly 40% involving alcohol abuse)
* 15,000 deaths/yr. from guns (people kill people, but they get a big boost from handguns)
* 5,000 deaths/yr. from drug overdoses (mainly cocaine, meth, and heroin)
* none for marijuana "overdose" (hard to define, as a matter of fact)

Now, as to 4 glasses of wine and/or beer per day (2 for women, due to differences in alcohol metabolic rate), there is a recent study showing a benefit (fewer heart attacks, strokes, etc.) when compared to either teetotaling abstinence or a higher rate of use.

Best to follow the maxim: Only go to excess in moderation. And be most strict in your moderation during working hours.

-A wise, old (anonymous) man.